Posts Tagged ‘back pain’

Pain

December 21, 2009

I’ve had problems with my back for the past twenty years.  Wow.  When I put it that way, I’m really old.

I remember in high school being on a weekend retreat during the winter.  We were all going tubing down a huge hill.  Fun!  Then we decided it was more fun to let our tubes go down the hill where the tow rope was (i.e. slide down backwards).  Not everyone got that memo, though, because while several us were sliding backward down the tow rope, a guy toward the end was being pulled up.  Rather than just letting our tubes bounce against each other, he tried to stop ours with his boot.  And rather than his boot hitting out tube, it hit me square in the back.

Back in those days I was terrified of going to the doctor; I was afraid of more pain from the doctor, but even more afraid of the cost.  We didn’t have a lot of money then.  In this case, I was even more terrified because I knew there was something truly wrong.  I wrapped my back in an ace bandage for a several days, walked around in pain and told my parents I was just sore from the weekend, and then eventually it got better.  In high school I was also hit by a car once, so I’m sure that didn’t help the back situation.  I can’t remember if the tubing came first, or the car.  It’s been so long.  Again:  OLD!

Then in my early 20’s I tried to put a gas grill together.  I twisted to put the grill on the stand and heard a POP!  That ended up resulting in six weeks out of work, at home laying on my living room floor in some massive pain.  I went to a chiropractor to help me and they don’t prescribe pain medicine.  It was weeks of hot/cold compresses and laying on my side on the hard floor.  When it finally got to a point where they could make an ‘adjustment’, it ended up horribly.  After all the initial pain and starting to feel better, the adjustment put me back to square one.  I wend directly to my normal doctor and the first thing he did was give me pain pills to give my body a break from the spasming.  God I loved that man.  There were still weeks of not being able to walk without extreme pain and I came very close to surgery, but that week before it was scheduled I stayed with my parents so I could have someone take care of me.  That did the trick and it helped tremendously.

I’ve had my back go out from sneezing, from sleeping wrong, from slipping, from picking something up, from coughing, from massages, and the list goes on.  I’ve tried physical therapy more than a few times, yoga, exercise, stretching, hot baths, heating pads, heating patches, drugs, etc.  It gets very frustrating and people don’t understand the sort of pain that comes along with back pain.  Pain down the leg, inability to walk without sometimes debilitating pain, inability to sleep without pain, etc.  I’ve missed holiday parties, been down and out on my vacation, been laid up for weekends, work (as stated before), dinners out with friends, and more due to this stupid back.

A lot of people have it a lot worse.  The majority of the time my back is OK.  In an odd way that makes it even harder when I’ll be going along fine and then my back goes out. Sometimes the going along fine part sort of gives me a sense of false security that somehow my back has been magically healed and I won’t have any more problems.  Then I sneeze and out it goes.  Now keep in mind I’d sneezed a hundred times before the one that sets the back off, but still.  Frustrating.

My back is not happy today.  I’m working from home.  Luckily the main project I’m working on at work can be done from home.  But we leave for vacation in three days and I’d really like to not leave in pain.  Who am I kidding?  If I have to be in pain, I’d rather it be somewhere nice and warm with the sound of waves and the beautiful blue ocean.

I will not let this depress me.  Paradise come soon.